This happened seven months ago, but old news can still be great news! After last year's successful Urban Iditarod, six of us decided to make another go of LA's annual dress-in-costumes-and-get-super-inebriated-while-pushing-shopping-carts-around-public-streets festivities. Needing a new theme, we decided to push the envelope by dressing as recently deceased celebrities.
Jocelyn as Bea Arthur
Ben as Ed McMahon
Jessica as Michael Jackson
Me as the Georgian Olympic luger
Jenna as the Sea World trainer
Bear in mind that the Iditarod took place just one and two weeks after the deaths of the trainer and luger respectively (yet not respectfully), so we were really pushing the tacky meter with that one. But then, no one pushed the tacky meter as much as...
Allison as David Carradine.
What's worse than dying of autoerotic asphyxiation? Having someone portray you with a belt around her neck and a baby doll's arm protruding from her pants.
Our cart was a gilded coffin, which our Michael Jackson sat in a lot, both as our most esteemed colleague and because she had a bum leg and couldn't do much running.
We were a hit!... if being a hit means being highly offensive. Actually, a bunch of the people saw the humor in our costumes and admired our creativity, but there were plenty of people who said things like, "That's just wrong." Though we never came up with a team name, one was decided for us by strangers' consensus: "Team Too Soon." We thought it was a great monicker and took it as a compliment. Besides, coming from a largely fratty crowd, I find their lifestyles too offensive to be offended by their offense.
A drunk guy dressed as a skier came up to me and said, "Hey, I just got back from the Olympics, too!"
To which I deadpanned, "Oh, I didn't make it back. I died."
Then he walked away.
This is why I have trouble making new friends.
David Carradine didn't have trouble making friends, though. That baby doll arm dick was a dude magnet. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the it's-not-really-gay-if-it's-attached-to-a-girl factor, but a lot of bros were all about touching, fellating, and eating a bagel off the mock-dick.
Other exciting moments included people repeatedly using the inflatable whale to beat up Trainer Jenna, Ben awarding drunks large novelty checks signed by God, and random dance breaks on the Venice boardwalk. This year the cops didn't even chase us, instead letting us run around foolishly. However, when we tried to congregate in the dog park, they disbanded us way too quickly. That just meant we took our beer to the beach, where we rested in peace on the sand.
See you next year, Iditarod! At this point, you're only five months away!
Overhead video:
And I love the curling team clearing way for a large truck:
1 comment:
1. You've held on to that baby arm for TEN years. Kudos you. It's somehow managed to Konmari it's way to your heart all these years and moves.
2. Your dead celebrities idea holds up ten years later. And yet, somehow, white people dressed up as pilgrims and "indians" does not.
-CCR
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