Pregnant Student Update

Even though I've been out of the teaching profession for more than a year now, I still receive requests for an update on my pair of students who got pregnant.

If you're unfamiliar with the story, you can read it here, and then how things got complicated between these students and me later.

If you want the story in a nutshell, there was a pair of freshmen in my class that dated and got pregnant. As much as I hope things have worked out for them, they were not parent-material in any sense. The maturity level of the Daddy was particularly disconcerting:

Someone asked Daddy if he wanted a boy or a girl. "Duh, a boy," was his response. "What if it's a girl?" someone asked. "I don't want a girl, that's gay." Now, I'm legitimately afraid for the unborn child, especially if its genetalia proves unpreferable to the father. Most would consider the act of reproduction to be a predominately heterosexual act, regardless of the ultimate gender, but Daddy believes otherwise. Attention all fathers with daughters: you're gay. Maybe you've fooled yourself into believing you're straight since you've been in a longterm, sexually active relationship with a woman, but that girl you've created is a sure sign of your closeted homosexuality. My student, however, is a man, so you can be sure he's going to have a boy. And only have boys from here on out. Actually, only wanting boys is a mentality that strikes me as particularly gay, but whatever.

I am sort of upset that I won't still be working at the school when the baby is born. Perhaps I'll send a card, especially if it's a girl:"Congratulations -- You're Gay!"

Anyway, unfortunately, I haven't heard any news about the new parents, but after the most recent request for information, I decided to google the kids' names to see if anything turned up. Amazingly, I found a birth announcement, which provided a birthdate and the baby's gender. Guess what - that baby is a GIRL! Which means Daddy is GAY! I'm not sure whether to find this really amusing or be upset at the fact that Daddy has probably abandoned the kid for being a disappointment. Alas, there are few cases where having no father might be preferable to having the one you've got, and this could be one of them.

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