The World's Best Excuse

As a former teacher, I've heard so many funny excuses that I didn't think someone could give an excuse that could phase me anymore. I was wrong.

Erica had to back out of plans this past weekend because... drumroll please... she had to teach CPR to the blind.

Immediately, I laughed. It's simultaneously unbelievable yet credible. It's such a bizarre task that it can't be phony. Her job gives her a bunch of random assignments, most of which do not cater to blind people. Once previously, however, Erica gave a lecture to the blind on disaster preparedness and stressed the importance of having extra batteries on hand for their flashlights before realizing that "it's always dark for them."

In spite of its challenges, it is an exciting job nonetheless. In fact, I would put it at the top of my resume. I suggested that Erica teach the class naked, and no one would be the wiser. Plus, she could probably pet the guide dogs while no one was looking. (Hehehe. Are blind jokes tacky or just short-sighted?)

Though the job was legitimate for Erica, considering the task is noble, challenging, and amusing, I am now adopting it as my go-to excuse.
Late to meet a friend? "Sorry, I was teaching the blind CPR."
Invited to an event you'd rather not attend? "As much as I'd love to, I'll be teaching CPR to the blind that night."
Owe someone money? "I'll get that to you right after I teach CPR to the blind."

But what do you do if you have car trouble and are late to work? "I was teaching the blind CRP" would work great, except in the case of Erica, who discovered a flat tire in the morning that caused her to be late to work. "I had a flat tire" doesn't sound nearly as exciting as the best excuse ever, but I'm not sure how credible it would sound to say, "Sorry I'm late to this blind CPR class, because I was teaching other blind people CPR."

I realize that this post isn't my best, but I'm rushing through it, because I'm about to teach CPR to the blind.