Porn Industry Takes a Blow

It seems that the economy is screwing everyone these days… except for porn stars. Now that hard times have penetrated America’s adult entertainment industry, Girls Gone Wild’s Joe Francis and Hustler founder Larry Flynt intend to ask Congress for a financial bailout. And I thought they liked it when things were rough.

Flynt believes that a porn bailout is crucial to raising the nation’s morale, explaining, “People are too depressed to be sexually active.”

Thus far, no member of Congress has orally responded to the proposition, leaving it unclear whether the U.S. government could even supply the requested amount – a staggering $5 billion – all in single dollar bills. I suppose anything’s worth a money shot.