Causing a Scene

I brought Amy to my high school's play, which was about a high school putting on a play. When someone later asked me what I thought of the play, I tried to avoid having to compliment it by suggesting it was "meta." When that wasn't understood I tried "postmodern," which, of course, also meant nothing. Alas, I had to say, though it took a lot, "It was good."

It wasn't good. Or to quote Amy, "It [was] good in the way that America's Next Top Model is good." What it lacked in quality, it made up for in its absurd, over-the-top nature. Why speak a line when it can be screamed? Why resort to a subtle performance when you can approach it with an exaggerated presence? Perhaps I am too critical -- I know I entered teaching with expectations that were too high.

A few things surprised me that shouldn't have. 1. Misbehavior in the audience: the kids were loud, rude, and disruptive, not much different than the classroom. 2. An overreaction to a quick stage kiss: ohmguh, two people kissed in a far more timid manner than I see many engage in in the hallway. 3. Homophobia: a boy on stage is heckled with cries of "homo!" 4. Religion: the actor bios in the program feature numerous praises to God and Biblical quotes.

The best part was that when intermission was announced, a kid behind us told eir friends, "We're having a fifteen minute commercial now." Alas, there were no advertisements made during this break.

In addition to the scheduled show, I apparently became an unwitting part of the show, too. Having attended with a companion, I was being stared at. As soon as I walked through the door, I was greeted with, "Hi Mr. [Kevin], is this your girlfriend?" Don't let the commas fool you, there were no pauses in the affront. After that, I tried to hide in the back corner so as not to attract too much attention. Still, a student managed to sit behind me and, without my knowledge, snap photos of Amy and me, which ey proceeded to show to eir peers at school yesterday. Many students inquired about Amy. One student who hadn't seen her said, "I heard she was pretty." (Not a bad rumor, huh, Amy?) As the questions continued to roll in, I initially tried to ignore them, but eventually for the sake of accomplishing anything, had to explain that Amy and I were just friends. Several students asked if I would bring her back to school, so I had to explain, no, Amy is moving to Africa.

I thought that by speaking up, it would squash the rumors by the following day, but it actually seemed to have the opposite effect. "Mr. [Kevin], I hear you're married!" What? Um? Shrug.