Tequila!

Since we began to read the novel, no fewer than three students have erroneously called Harper Lee's masterpiece How to Kill a Mockingbird, thus turning the heralded piece of fiction into an instruction manual. Step 1: Procure a gun. Step 2: Aim...

I figured this mistake would be the height of the hilarity in regards to confusing this novel's title until, while taking eir test, a student reads aloud, "To Kill a Mockingbird? I thought it was Tequila Mockingbird." "Tequila Mockingbird?" I repeat. "Yeah, like the alcohol," ey says. I literally thump my head on my desk. It's as if the student never even opened the book; then again, it's not even necessary to open the book to learn its title. Annoyed by my evident annoyance, the student growls, "What? It's not as if To Kill a Mockingbird makes any sense." Ohmguh! The symbolism referenced in the title is so significant that if it isn't understood, there is almost no point in reading the book! To say that the title means nothing is so infuriating, distressing, and short-sighted that I just want to...

Speaking of tequila, I could use some right now.