I'm Telling the Truth! Scouts' Honor!

It is probably dumb of me to share this story, as it will probably result in far more people calling me a dumbass than vindicating me, but at this point, I'm just looking for one person, one singular soul, who will tell me, "Yes, I understand what you were trying to say, Kevin."

A few weeks ago, our neighbor, a sweet, precocious young child came to sell the residents of our house Girl Scout cookies. Unfortunately, I was not awake to make a purchase. At times, the only thing that matters in my life is Tagalongs; they are peanut butterlicious. (I can't currently think of a subtle way to indicate I want everyone I know to buy me Tagalongs as a gift, so I'm just going to put it out there like so.) Anyway, I was very disappointed to have missed out on the cookie buying opportunity and moaned to my housemates about it, while they cooed in excitement for their impending cookie deliveries.

A couple of hours later, Shea, Michael Michael, and I went for some Chinese food. I can't exactly recall all of the details of the car game Michael Michael was trying to explain, but it involved people having to take off an article of clothing when someone was the last to do something. Disturbed by this description, Shea asked what the point of doing that would be.

"To get the person next to you naked," Michael Michael responded.
"Who would want to see their neighbor naked?" Shea shuttered.
"Well, if they're attractive..." Michael Michael indicated.
"There's no such thing as an attractive neighbor." I joked, adding after a slight pause, "Unless it's a girl scout."

Shea and Michael Michael erupted in chants of "Gross!" and "That's disgusting!" which I did not quite understand. "What's the matter?" I asked. "How can you say that about our little neighbor?" came the reply.

It didn't take long to sort out that they thought I was making a reference to seeing my young neighbor naked, which is indeed inappropriate. While I am that, that was not my intention. My quip was made, in haste, as both a play on the word "neighbor" (Shea meant a hypothetical person adjacent to him in a car, not an actual person living across the street) as well as a play on the word "attractive," which has a definition not solely restricted to physical appearance, as a call back to our earlier conversation about how appealing it was to have a girl scout come to the door.

Now, I'll readily admit that assuming I meant something about how seeing a girl scout naked would be arousing would be a reasonable, perhaps even most obvious, interpretation of my statement. Nevertheless, I wish someone would concede that, given the context, my quip was meant innocently, or at least acknowledge there's enough reason to give me the benefit of the doubt; my friends won't let me live it down, however. I'm not saving face, though, and I stand by my stated intentions of my controversial remark. I challenge you to fathom a more attractive scenario than having a girl scout (fully uniformed, mind you) show up at your door with cookies.

If you'll speak up to say that you understand that I wanted a girl scout to bring me Do-Si-Dos, rather than shaking them seductively, I'll award you a merit badge.