The Pyramid Scheme

Just when I'm thinking I'm settling in for a boring night in the house, Amber opens a chain letter sent to her from a stranger. Immediately, excitement overcomes her when she sees that with just a small amount of effort, she could be more than $800,000 richer. As Amber contemplates sending a dollar to each of seven strangers on a list, Shea tries to explain the concept of a pyramid scheme before turning to me for assistance. As you might expect, when visions of hundreds of thousands of dollars flash into your head, logic no longer takes priority. I recount how a similar letter was sent amongst my friends when I was in elementary school and those kids who were suckered into sending money to others in the hopes of a big return ultimately received nothing in the end.

Amber begins reading the testimony aloud as if to convince Shea and me of the letter's legitimacy. Apparently, this system cannot fail according to David Rhodes of Norfolk. He had lost his job and just about everything before passing on this letter and soon found himself more than a million dollars richer! Now he can support his family, go on cruises, and buy new cars! It is 100% legal and 100% successful!

To clarify, in theory, it is possible for a pyramid scheme to work. If the chain were to continue and more people were to be sending you money than you were required to send out, I suppose you could stand to make a profit. Of course, its success depends on strangers agreeing to participate and send you money, while most people will take half a glance at the letter before throwing it in the trash (or, with any luck, recycle it.) The letter itself encourages participants to send 200 letters with the belief that fifteen of the recipients will continue the chain. While $7 doesn't seem like much to risk with nearly a million dollars on the line, the cost of envelopes, postage, xeroxing, and buying a mailing list from a company turns this activity into quite an uncertain investment.

The letter begs for patience, saying you will receive nothing for months, but then, suddenly, you'll be earning thousands per day. Can you imagine how absurd it would be to get such a large sum of money in the mail one dollar at a time? You'd spend all of your time opening envelopes. The post office would have to make special deliveries to you. I guarantee, if there was even one case of someone legitimately receiving that much money in the mail, it would have been reported in the news.

To help show my case, I google the letter and find it listed on many different websites as a scam. Then I try to google some of the names of the people that have continued the chain and are hoping to receive money from Amber. Therein, we make a disturbing discovery that the person on the top of the list, Jack, someone who probably forwarded this letter months ago, has died. This revelation makes Amber freak out, so we research the matter further. Evidently, Jack was a high school coach was murdered at his school; the crime has not been solved. At this point, Amber thinks fate has led her to find this deceased man. She is legitimately devastated at his passing, despite not knowing of his existence just moments prior. I decide to spook her by saying maybe he somehow broke the chain and then he was cursed and she she freaked out because she believes that kind of stuff, so I take it back, afraid she might feel obligated to complete the chain otherwise.

Then we find some kid's MySpace page that has a dedication to his hero, the fallen coach. None of us have a MySpace account, but we're determined to get one so that we can contact him and learn more about the circumstances behind Jack, not only his death, but his life as well. Plus, I'm curious whether he ever received any money. It'd suck if his $800,000 was finally rolling in, but he died before he could enjoy it. As I think this aloud, Amber determines how she will cope and feel better about this situation. She will send a dollar to Jack and his family, accompanied by a note that explains how sorry she is that he died. She's serious, too.

This house is crazy. I love it.