Monday Was Still a Funday

Yesterday was Monday! Margarita Monday, to be precise. Alas, it being a holiday, there was no drink special. Some holiday! If I can't bring in the new year with cheap beverages, I don't want to ring it in at all.

Instead, Andrew and I decide to make our own drinks at my house. On the way home, I stop at CVS to get some cola because they've had a two two liter bottles for a dollar special recently. Entering the store, the alarm sounded. A worker stocking the shelves came to see what was up, so Andrew explained that it sounded when we walked in. The employee understood, saying it had been happening all day. Andrew and I went to look at the sodas, discovering that a two liter bottle now cost $1.69, more than three times as much as I was hoping to spend. Screw this, I decided, and asked if Andrew minded shopping somewhere else. Andrew lit up at the prospect of "bargain shopping", so off we went, leaving the store empty-handed. Once again, the alarm went off, this time, though, we looked more suspicious on our way out without purchasing anything. We totally could have shoved things in our pockets and walked out, knowing that the alarm was going to ring anyway.

On to Target! I predicted that I was probably wasting money on gas trying to find soda that was twenty cents cheaper elsewhere. Walking through the entrance, the alarm sounded again. As security approached, at this point, it occurred to us that it was probably the red hat I was wearing that was causing all the commotion. My dad gave me a red hat for Christmas and for reasons unknown to even me, I didn't take the tags off of it liking the peculiar fashion statement they afforded. As Andrew chanted about bargain shopping, I found that my suspicions were true: the soda was indeed $1.49, just twenty cents cheaper. Still not satisfied, I demanded our exit, which excited Andrew as long as the bargain shopping continued. Before we left, not wanting to be hassled, I pulled aside an employee to show my Gap hat with tags on it, saying the alarm would probably sound. I was prepared to exit lawfully, but then Andrew was drawn to the a hot dog. He got the kid's meal, which came with apple sauce and two packages of fruit snacks since they were out of story books. Sometimes, life works out perfectly like that. I said goodbye to the employee, who had been waiting for quite a while to "okay" my departure at this point, and walked out of the door without the alarm sounding. After all that!

Next door, the 99 Cent store did not have an alarm; if you're stealing from the 99 Cent store, it is probably out of necessity, so they're not about to arrest you. We spotted a sign on the door that informed us that all Christmas paraphernalia was four for a dollar and went into full bargain shopping mode. First we located a 3-liter (for, of course, 99 cents!) cola product. Next Andrew found Santa-themed marshmallows that he wanted to microwave to make a New Year's cake. Then we grabbed these giant red Santa shaped plastic cups with straws. Next we saw these ridiculous cookies that were "Christmas-shaped" (what is the shape of Christmas you ask? Your guess is as good as mine.) Since these cookies came in both sugar and butter variety with no discerning difference apparent from the box, I figured we had to have a taste test. Also, Andrew got this amazing puppy calendar that looks like the dogs are posing for Glamor Shots at the mall. Overall, a successful trip. That is until the cashier acted like certain products in our basket that were clearly on sale were not in fact on sale. I barely started to argue my case for why these items were meant to be discounted, but as Andrew pointed out, you tend to feel too bad for the person working at the 99 Cent store to argue over a couple of quarters. When the bill came to more than twice as much I was expecting, I whimpered a bit, at which point Andrew pointed out that 2007 was shaping up to be an expensive year. And how!

Kat and RJ were already at home to greet us. To make up for a lack of margaritas, Andrew started mixing cola, vodka, and ice in the blender. Frankly, it was pretty crappy, but it was made all the better by the overpriced Santa cups. In fact, everything should be consumed out of a Santa cup.

Then Amber and her family came home, and we got caught looking like white trash drinking blended vodka and cola out of Santa cups. I think even the young children were judging us. Katy, who has been in Africa for the past six months, didn't judge, though, instead joining us in our New Year's merriment. We kidnapped her and took her to the HARRRRR. She wanted to change out of her pajama pants first, indicating that she was entirely unfamiliar with the concept of HARRRR.

Now I've never spent more than two minutes in a HARRR in my entire life. Generally, you make your order, pay, and leave. But for some reason, it seemed like a good idea to eat the pizzas there in this tiny area, sitting on the window sill. While we chatted wildly, lots of kids between the ages of eight and fifteen entered the store. Suddenly, there were seventeen of us in the store, all of eight by twenty feet, simultaneously, which has got to be a world record. Many of the kids were wearing pajama pants, making Katy fit in. We all fit in, in fact, because our group was just as immature as the younger folk. We had a couple of hilariously awkward interactions with these kids. I think they stayed to eat there because it seemed like the "cool" thing to do; little did these kids know that I could be their teacher. Anyway, we spent more than half an hour in the place, which is probably another record for the establishment.

We returned to finish our Santa drinks. The butter and sugar cookies tasted no differently. The New Year's cake, melted marshmallow in a bowl, was perhaps more disastrous than the blended drinks themselves. Darby pooped, and an earnest conversation about how you can really appreciate a dog with solid stool.

As a follow up, I'd like to mention that when Katy peeked into my room for the first time, she noticed the turkey baster. She made the usual inquiries about the object then said, "I think it's a snot sucker." Then she promptly shoved it up her nostril and start squeezing the baster to suction her boogers. You see, this occurrence is exactly why you have to keep things disinfected!