Happy BLANK Year

Happy New Year. Rather than spending my New Year's Eve at some alcohol-infused party, I participated in an evening of Family Olympics. I'll chalk it up to a cultural experience: I'm not sure if it'd be possible to get anymore Utahan than that.

The first event involved tying a stocking with an orange around your waste and using it to bat another orange across the room in a team relay race. I was horrendous at this activity and cost my team the victory. Fortunately, I made it up with some awesome suck-and-blow action in the next event. The final event involved moving your butt around in the air to have your teammates guess the word being spelled. Definitely an absurd activity for family Olympics, but fairly fun nonetheless.

With a condo full of tired people, by nine o'clock, the decision was made to celebrate the New Year on east coast time. So at ten o'clock Utah time, everyone except for me threw streamers and cheered, then promptly went to bed.

Because I'm a lame teacher now, I'm not going to complain about how uneventful that was. I poop out early a lot now, too. Still, I'll be damned if I was going to crash before midnight. Fortunately, I didn't have to spend my New Year's Eve alone: I was able to share it with the only thing that currently matters in my life, the Game Show Network. I think I've fallen for the co-host of the show Lingo, Chuck Woolery Shandi Finnessey. She's so bubbly and witty, I can't help it. While doing some "research," however, I've discovered that she's a former Miss USA and first-runner-up for Miss Universe. So I'm a little peeved at myself for being so typical, but darned if she's not adorable.

At midnight, I didn't cheer or anything, as an episode of The Match Game was beginning. I know I've referenced the show previously, but I want to make sure I win you over now.

Here is one of my new favorite clips, I promise that if you give it two minutes, you will laugh:

Ah, the risque nature of The Match Game. I love the contestant's outlandishly dirty answer, especially after explaining that she chose the question on the recommendation of her nine-year-old child. For the record, I would have given the answer that the third, fourth, and fifth panelist gave.

All right, so let's play a round with a real question from the show. Fill in this blank with a response in the comments section:

Stella the Starlet said, "I don't mind the newspaper printing a story about my sex life, but did they have to put it in the __(BLANK)___ section?"