Vagina Lips Donkey

My new favorite hobby is cleaning out my trash can at school. That basket is a certifiable gold mine. As I've discovered, students write notes during my class, then toss them on their way out the door. The things I've learned about my students in this context is rather valuable: I know who is planning to drink this weekend, who is bisexual, and who is considering losing their virginity. Not to mention who is not paying attention during my class. Though I've seen notes badmouthing other teachers, it's been several days of checking before I've found the inevitable criticism of me. The following crumpled up note is an exchange between two students:

I've been kinda bored... what about you

Same as you. Yea this class is pretty boring.

I kno... dat teacher's a vagina lips donkey... watta weirdo

haha. lol Your mean He isn't a whatever u said haha. I think he's an okay teacher He's been pretty cool.

I kno... I was kidden... he cool... lol...

Well, it could have been worse. I may be a weirdo (which I'll gladly own up to), but I'm "pretty cool" too. Awww! I'll take my validation wherever I can get it, even if it does follow being called a vagina lips donkey. If it were even a tad more appropriate, I'd be tempted to ask the question "What is a donkey lips vagina?" on the next test just to watch those two students wince in their chairs. In the meantime, we clearly have a lot of work to do on spelling, punctuation, and creating sensical insults.

*The photo, of course, is of Donkey Lips from Nickelodeon's Salute Your Shorts, though the student is much too young to understand that reference.

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