Girls Poop, Too

A while ago, I learned of this great article from The Frisky: “Girl Talk: Pooping Is a Feminist Issue”. Though it’s presented with a humorous voice, I’d contend that it’s not a trivial issue. Women poop just as much as men, but they’re not supposed to acknowledge it, and we go so far as to pretend that they don't. It’s no wonder that society has trouble granting women reproductive rights when we still shame them for the same biological functions that they share with men.

As a child, I developed a potty mouth thanks in large part to a few female friends who shared a love of poop jokes. I sent them an email with the link to the article, commending them for tackling a feminist issue before they even knew it was one. What follows is the abridged email conversation. Part of me wants to warn you that it’s graphic, but the other part of me feels that that’s a patriarchal response to women talking about poop.

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FEMALE 1
BAHAHAHAHAHA!!! that article is hilarious and true. I'm trying so hard to suppress my laughter at work that I'm afraid a big gas is going to come out instead!

FEMALE 2
Hahah hilarious!!!
So wait - the article says if you hold your poop or fart, it will come out in their sleep. I have farted in my sleep and its woken me up but I'm proud to say I have never pooped in my sleep! But now I want to know - who has pooped in their sleep?!
I have pooped my pants when laughing in cape cod. Yikes.

KEVIN
oh, wow, FEMALE 2, that might be too much information. What a good feminist you are… I don't remember this incident.

FEMALE 2
I think I wa sin 8th grade? We were in chatham with [redacted]. We were at their place (not their usual cottage they would rent though) and I laughed and then farted and realized I had pooped my pants. [redacted] was not pleased and you kids all thought I had gotten my period since I was in the bathroom forever.

FEMALE 1
Geez, Kevin, I remember that story! Don't you remember how embarrassed [redacted] was b/c FEMALE 2 called out to her from the bathroom window, saying, "[Redacted]! I pooped in my pants!"

FEMALE 3
I just go back from class and had like 10 e-mails with the subject heading "Poop." A banner day!

I have not pooped in my sleep, although I once woke up from a nap and saw brown sticky stuff on my thighs. (Well, first I saw it on the toilet seat, then on my thighs). I then realized that I had fallen asleep with a bowl of oatmeal and melted chocolate chips. I immediately IMed FEMALE 2 about it and got a message back, "Hi, this is [FEMALE 2’s MOM]."

Also, when FEMALE 1 was 1, she was in her crib for a nap, and when her mom went to wake her up, she discovered that FEMALE 1 had opened her diaper, gotten poop all over her hair, and finger painted with it all over the walls. I think many comments were made that night about "shampoop."

FEMALE 2
Haha both great stories! Don't think I remember hearing when FEMALE 2 finger painted with her own poop. That must have been the start of her real painting. What a great way to get in to it!
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These women are pioneers, true feminists. Now let’s all get shit-talking – and I mean that in the most jovial sense possible.