White Houses

Look, I like Vanessa Carlton, I'd walk a thousand miles for her even, but I can't help but laugh at her 2004 minor hit "White Houses" whenever I hear it. I actually keep it on my ITunes for the express purpose of having something to giggle at it when it come on during shuffle play. I don't know how else to react to an over-the-top, metaphor-filled song about a teenager losing her virginity. White houses, guys! Isn't it ironic that she was coaxed into having sex in a setting the color of purity? Some lyrics:

"I sneak into his car's black leather seat
The smell of gasoline in the summer heat
Boy, we're going way too fast
It's all to sweet to last...

And I put myself in his hands...

My first time, hard to explain
Rush of blood, oh, and a little bit of pain
On a cloudy day, it's more common than you think
He's my first mistake...

And you, maybe you'll remember me
What I gave is yours to keep
In white houses"

Today, for the first time, it occurred to me to look up her video. I was hoping for a melodramatic reenactment of the narrative, but I found something much better: a melodramatic interpretive dance! With one pant legged rolled up (which my Dad always assumes means said person is in a gang), one Vanessa performs some ridiculous dance moves, while another Vanessa sings, at times with her head resting against the piano despondently. The Vanessas never make contact, presumably due to the fear of intimacy, but those dance moves take this song from comical to hilarious.

I read that MTV censored this video because of the sexual nature of the song. Way to take a stance against a songwriter whose lyrics read like an emo high schooler's livejournal poem, but air a bunch of scantily clad ladies shaking their tits in hip hop videos. "White Houses" isn't inappropriate, it's absurd - don't deprive us of this magic!

Oh, and I think it's safe to bet that Vanessa Carlton never ever had sex again.