Mona Lisa: It's a Man, Baby!

Have you heard the latest about the inexplicably iconic painting and inspiration to some Julia Roberts film I didn't see, the Mona Lisa? A newer theory is that the Mona Lisa is a self-portrait, meaning that Leonardo Da Vinci painted himself in drag. Now historians want to raid Da Vinci's grave to see if they can find evidence to confirm this theory.

This whole "Let's dig him up to see if he made himself into a lady!" business is ridiculous. It sounds like one big gay witch hunt where people want to exhume him just to call him a queer and kill him again. To be clear, being homosexual and cross-dressing are two different things, but the general public will probably refuse to let dead Da Vinci serve in the military, have the painting reappraised at half its value, and call in bomb threats to the Louvre. "I always knew something was off about those artist types."

So the plan is to take his skull and see if it makes a similar smile. Isn't the point of the Mona Lisa that she's not exactly smiling? Are they also going to be able to make a skull semi-smile? Or is that just how Da Vinci always smiled - and if so, wouldn't there be some historical letters found that said, "Gee, that Leonardo sure always smiles like a shmuck"? Is this the Da Vinci code that Dan Brown should have been solving?