2010-02-14

Barnyard Love

How are we supposed to even celebrate Valentine's Day with so much heartbreak this year?

I'm not saying that as some bitter single person, but as someone who knows there are a lot of couples being torn apart by the law. Forget the gays, I'm actually referring to our fine feathered friends. Just this month, the Netherlands outlawed humans having sex with animals. According to this article, Netherlands was one of the last main bastions of human/animal love - as long as the animals were not subjected to pain (that was a cry of pleasure, officer, I swear,) such private acts were formerly condoned. (Marijuana and bestiality? Anyone else checking out some Orbitz rates to Amsterdam?) It is estimated that 80% of all bestiality videos are filmed in the Netherlands, and this law could well kill the industry.

WHAT WILL WE MASTURBATE TO NOW?!

How about, well, anything else. For real, don't hump sheep. Memba I toldja.

But, you know, if any Dutch people did have to call off their dates tonight or some lonely American had to turn to a foot fetish flick since the Internet has dried up of canine sex videos (contrary to popular opinion, dogs prefer missionary position), my heart goes out to you. I think you're kinda gross, but my heart goes out to you.

Some people like cock and pussy and other people like literal cock and pussy. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO US ALL!

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