2009-11-12

Baby, You Paralyze Me

"He looks like a stroke victim... in a hot way." - Allison

This was Allison's critique of Logan, the token cute guy, while watching Project Runway tonight. Both she and Melinda seem to think that one side of Logan's face, as well as the corresponding eye, droops. Rest assured, they both still find it attractive. I've heard of some interesting fetishes, but stroke victim... well, there just may be hope for us all!

I looked for the Logan's reported droopiness, but I don't really see it. To be fair, however, I am sort of oblivious to these things. A few weeks ago, I was at a fabric store. (I was there while a friend shopped for a Halloween costume - I don't want to mislead people into thinking I'm some sort of seamster now that I watch Project Runway and go to fabric stores; I still can't reattach buttons to my pants when they fall off.) While browsing the shelves, I came across the book Quilt with Confidence. In addition to finding the title amusing, I was taken aback by author Nancy Zieman's facial expression on the cover. It was a pretty unflattering photo, so why wouldn't they just use another shot in which she didn't look as though she were simultaneously farting and coping with the smell?

I took a picture of the book, but it didn't come out too well, so I'd tried Google searching to see if I could find a clean copy of it. The image search revealed something I honestly hadn't anticipated: Zieman's face looks similar in every photo of her. Here I thought it was funny because I had assumed someone had made a bad design choice for the book's cover art, but as it turned out, I had been mocking someone afflicted with Bell's palsy. Nice one, douche!

Deservedly, I felt like an asshole, and I probably wouldn't have even shared this story with anyone, except that now I know that paralysis is considered "hot" by some. For all I know, someone might be masturbating (with confidence) to Zieman's book cover. After all, beauty is in the lazy eye of the beholder.

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