Necrophilihat

A couple of weekends ago, my friends threw a party to commemorate three occasions:
1) A Housewarming
2) Allison’s Birthday
3) Ben Affleck’s Birthday

Affleck didn’t show. Prick.

The invitation cleverly concluded: “Allison likes presents and costumes and beer. Keep that in mind.” To accommodate I brought booze, put on tiny yellow shorts, and set about making a present for Allison. I wanted to celebrate Allison’s humor so I tried to think of the funniest thing she’s ever done or said. The first thing that came to mind was the quip she made about necrophilia.

Then I had to figure out how to incorporate Allison’s quote into a full-fledged gift. I decided to make her a hat, which seemed simple until I realized I had no clue how to just “make a hat.” Fortunately, I found a cute crafty lady at eHow who taught me how to erect a hat out of construction paper and a paper plate:


How to Make a Paper Stovepipe Hat -- powered by eHow.com

Once the hat was complete, I had to decorate it with Allison’s quote. Since text alone is boring, I opted to add an illustration. Of course, using a graphic to accompany necrophilia is automatically asking for trouble, so I decided to fully embrace the mischief and depict Allison engaging in necrophilia with, to enhance the party’s theme even further, a dead Ben Affleck. Here is the result:


Best birthday present ever? Yeah, probably. Be sure to let me know if this is not what you want for your birthday, because I think otherwise this has become my go-to gift. I’ll even use the dead celebrity of your choice!