Heart-Shaped Balloon

While approaching a parking space today, I noticed an inflated but not airborne heart-shaped helium balloon wishing "Happy Valentine's Day" on the ground. It was resting close to where my tire should have gone, but I purposefully angled myself to miss it because popping it just seemed unnecessary.

Inside, I waited in a line for more than half an hour, standing immediately behind a PDA-obsessed couple. The guy would not stop kissing his girlfriend on the cheek. They were tiny pecks, but thoroughly obnoxious nonetheless. Every ten seconds or so, he'd lean in and plant one on her. It's like he had some oral fixation, and couldn't figure out how to satisfy it any other way while in line. I didn't appreciate being stuck behind this scene having to witness incessant kissing. I did my best not to look, but the soft sound of moisture on skin was enough to drive me mad. I think I would have been able to handle two people sucking face much easier, because then they'd at least look trashy and it'd probably be meaningless. Instead, each one of his gentle kisses to his lady friend felt like he was slapping me in the face. STOP BEING GROSS AND FAUX-CUTE! NO ONE WANTS TO WATCH YOU KISS YOUR GIRLFRIEND AT LENGTH IN PUBLIC! Maybe it shouldn't have bothered me so much, but it took every ounce of willpower not to say something or respond violently.

When I finally made it back to my car, you can be damn sure I purposefully ran over that fucking balloon.