Sleepaway Camp

In addition to the awesomely horror-ble film Troll 2, Alex introduced me to Sleepaway Camp, which is just as terror-ific. True to its name, Sleepaway Camp is a campy 80s film with a thin premise and cheesy acting. I love it so much that I recently watched it for the second time this year. It’s not a typical horror movie in that it rarely even attempts to be scary, mainly playing out like a bad, melodramatic teen film.

Sleepaway Camp also holds the distinction of featuring my favorite cinematic villain ever: Judy. Ohmguh, Judy is outrageous. Before we even catch a glimpse of her, a camper reveals that Judy has sprouted some breasts since the previous summer:

Just kidding, those aren’t her breasts. Believe it or not, that’s all man, baby:

That’s actually Ronnie, an absurdly jacked camp counselor. He exclusively wears muscle shirts and the world’s tiniest shorts, all too often putting his penis prominently on display. The male campers also have questionable fashion tastes like midriff-baring shirts and tight cut-off jean shorts. Evidently, the 80s were super queer.

Anyway, back to my love, Judy. She’s a witch. Judy is so over-the-top, she could seamlessly slip into Saved by the Bell canon. In every scene, she literally saunters in out of nowhere and announces her presence with some needlessly cruel comments. Plus, she emotes like nobody’s business: her face rapidly fluctuates between expressions, none of which are remotely pleasant or attractive. All of this awesomeness is accentuated with an oversized side ponytail. Trust me, you’ve got to see Judy in action.



Sleepaway Camp does not feature any notable actors, though James Earl Jones’s dad appears in what is probably the most offensive African American role since minstrel shows.
Whoever Earl Jones serves as a foil to two characters: the camp cook, an unnerving child molester and the camp’s owner, Mel. While Mel is not a child molester per se, he doesn’t exactly reject the sexual advances of one of his young camp counselors. Really, though, who wouldn’t love this face?
The whole film strives for ridiculousness, including one of the more sensationalist death scenes I’ve ever seen: shoving a hot curling iron up the victim’s vagina. (Relax, it’s implied rather than depicted, if that is, in fact, cause to relax.)

But unlike most films of this genre, it’s not just about amassing a body count. There’s so much more! Several inches more, even.

YOU JUST NEED TO SEE IT TO BELIEVE IT/YOU MIGHT NOT EVEN BELIEVE IT WHEN YOU SEE IT!

As a media scholar, I’m anxious to discuss all of the socio-political implications of this film, but I refuse to give it away. You’ll just have to experience it for yourself.

I can make it easy for you, too. Someone bootlegged the film and put it in its entirety on YouTube. If you’re a stickler for quality (by which I mean video quality, if overall theatrical quality is a priority, you should probably skip it altogether), then you might prefer to rent it.

Watch Sleepaway Camp on YouTube.