Free Hugs

On our way to get bagels, Alice and I spied a person on a street corner holding a sign that read "Free Hugs." I was immediately both curious and suspicious -- what a bizarre offer. We watched the person for a while and though several people passed, no one took eir up on the hugging, which made it a pretty sad scene. Sensing the sadness, and since free is my favorite price, I wasn't about to turn down the opportunity. As we walked in eir direction, without saying a word, I lifted up my arms as ey set down eir sign and we exchanged a nice big hug. We each said, "Thank you" then went our separate ways.

It felt great. The hugger looked to be so happy and I'm glad I could brighten eir day. On top of that, as Alice pointed out to me, I had a huge smile on my face afterwards, too. There was something powerful about embracing a stranger.

Nevertheless, I couldn't help question the motives. There was a chance that maybe this person just really needed a hug. Because we were in a college town, however, I dismissed it as a sociological experiment. It seemed most plausible that the person had a class assignment to see how many/what types of people would hug a stranger.

From the bagel shop, we watched the hugger from the window and saw that a few more people took advantage of the offer. Part of me was happy to see that other people were engaging in an intimate manner with the stranger. The other part of me wanted to run out in act of faux-jealousy and yell at people to get their hands off my woman because I can't seem to let a good experience just be without turning it into a joke.

As we strolled back to our car and passed the hugger again, we decided to ask for the person's reasons. The hugger gave a very hippy response about wanting to spread the love and how sometimes people need a hug, but are too afraid to ask, so ey was offering up the opportunity so that people would feel comfortable to approach eir. It was a good, valid explanation, yet I still walked away convinced that was eir rehearsed response because ey couldn't come out and undermine the experiment ey was undergoing. Before we left, I tried to find a cohort on a nearby bench taking field notes on the occurrences, but found no one. Hmmm.

When I recounted the incident later to Jocelyn, ey made a humorous suggestion that I should have stood on the opposite street corner holding a sign advertising "HUGS $1." I would despondently smoke a cigarette and send evil glares toward the free hugger, occasionally shouting "This is my business, get out of my fucking way!" or "You can't sell 'em 'cause your hugs are worth shit!"

At some point, Alice informed me that there is an international Free Hug movement, made popular by a music video that is one of the all time most watched clips on YouTube:



Up until then, I was unaware that such a phenomenon existed; the video is heartwarming. Initially, it took some excitement out of my hug experience since the idea wasn't original. Soon thereafter, however, I realized that it actually made it more special since it meant that this person was hugging out of eir own volition and kindness rather than just a scholarly pursuit.

It doesn't matter whether this idea is copied from someone else, isn't this something that more people should be doing? It felt terrific to share this moment with a stranger. It's an act of goodwill and unification, something humanity could use more of. As much as I instinctively tried to demean it and turn it into a farce, I can't deny its simplistic power. In spite of my frequent cynicism, it inspires me to go out and offer hugs to strangers as well.

I'm constantly in a battle with two sides of my personality: the lover and the misanthrope. I'm not sure how to reconcile simultaneously dreaming of humankind living and loving together in peace and also hating most people, but that's my reality. Maybe putting myself in a situation where I'm hugging more of the strangers I so readily dismiss would prove beneficial.