The White Party

Last semester, the Women’s Center threw a “Red Party” to celebrate menstruation and other girly things. This semester, the group decided to take on a new theme and have a “White Party.” But once you start flyering and sending out invitations for a “White Party,” particularly on a progressive campus, people start to get offended. Apparently, celebrating whiteness can be construed as a racial issue, regardless of the intention.

After receiving complaints, the Women’s Center, not looking to be renamed to the Women’s Klan, changed the theme to the “Off-White Party.” Still, people were offended because they now believed the party to be about people of non-Caucasian descent, which is also unacceptable, even though the school regularly funds Black, Latino, and Asian student groups.

If there’s a lesson to be learned from this mess, it’s that you can’t bring up the color white ever. Just pretend it doesn’t exist, you racist. Left without a theme, the Women’s Center has decided to resurrect last semester’s uncontroversial Red Party theme. Ah, the Red Party, something on which we can all agree. I’m going to wear my best feathered headdress and call corn “maize.”