Kije's Ouija

After hearing many creepy Ouija board stories during my youth, I tried on several occasions to receive a message from a spirit. Unlike most kids, however, my partners and I were never freaked out by our experiences. Since our curiosity prompted honesty, no one ever moved the piece to force a message. Instead, we had a string of non-corresponding consonants with far too few vowels. In retrospect, maybe the resulting message was a cryptogram that required further deciphering.

Given the band's previously discussed strong, strange breed of Christianity, I was surprised to discover that Free Design had its own song about the occult game.

Enjoy the tune here: The Free Design - Kije's Ouija

"Is it bad, Kevin?"
Did you have to ask? Granted, it's catchy, but these lyrics...

There was a gentleman from way up north and Kije was his name.

And he got strange answers from a magic board ‘cause Ouija was his game.

Kije’s Ouija, Kije’s Ouija Board

Kije’s Ouija, gee, we should’ve believed, believed before



I took my favorite lover way up north,
we packed our boots and skis

And we found as a lodging Kije’s magic house-
there he sat with a board upon his knees.

Kije’s Ouija, Kije’s Ouija Board

Kije’s Ouija, gee, we should’ve believed, believed before


Then he asked us would we like to sit and learn about magic,

My Ouija board will set you straight on all that’s happy or tragic.

We sat right down to scrutinize the weird old indicator

Neither did we understand or believe it.. till later

Kije’s Ouija, Kije’s Ouija Board
Kije’s Ouija, gee, we should’ve believed, believed before



It told us that some wise old angel had prepared for us a special treat
that everyone who kicked a little dog would surely lose his feet.

And everyone who shook his fist in anger soon would be shaking in bed,

And every single time a curse was said
someone’s tongue would surely drop from his head.


Now many more like this the angel will send, but you could do yourself much worse.

Just push a couple buttons, let your favorite bombs completely cover over the earth.

Now the angel’s curse has come and gone, but everyone knew that.



We didn’t need a Ouija board to give us any clue

that the way we lived was far from right,
the first curse came to reckon.

No one dares to ask old Kije ‘bout the second.

Kije’s Ouija, Kije’s Ouija Board
Kije’s Ouija, gee, we should’ve believed, believed before.

Things that are awesome:
* The implied promiscuity in the fifth line: "I took my favorite lover"
* The morality lesson in puppy-kickers losing their feet
* Evidently, angels communicate via ouija boards
* The sarcasm about the apocalyptic bombs is nearly lost in awkward syntax