A Soaring Employee

I'm having a difficult time understanding why I'm underemployed. I am a great employee: In just one day I singlehandedly prevented a PR gaffe, criminal charges, and ecoterrorism for the state of Connecticut.

When I interned for Hartford's Chamber of Commerce many years ago, one of my projects was to keep the other interns in the area happy. A lot of business students would work in the city for the summer, realize there was nothing to do, and vow never to come back. Our goal was to find ways to entertain them so that they would seek full time employment in Hartford after they graduated.

This assignment was particularly challenging because there is, in fact, nothing to do in Hartford. One activity we planned was a sporting event, except that Connecticut doesn't have any professional sports teams, so we sent them to a minor league baseball game. Contain your excitement, please.

My boss wanted to turn the event into a photo op in order to generate publicity, so she dreamed up a scheme in which we'd procure hundreds of helium balloons and have the interns simultaneously release them into the air from the stands as some sort of grand symbol of Hartford elevating to higher levels.

I was opposed to the idea. First, it was another example of misunderstanding what twenty-somethings consider fun (just buy them beer, they'd appreciate it more than a balloon). Second, it struck me as horribly irresponsible from an environmental standpoint. Why not just tie soda can rings to each balloon's string so that we could maximize the litter and animal fatalities?

Consequently, I lied to my boss that I was unable to find a party store that could supply that many balloons at such short notice. She put someone else on the task who successfully arranged it almost immediately. Frustrated, I tried to think of another way to thwart this eco-attack. Surely this sort of thing should be against the law.

And so I consulted state legislation. Much to my elation, there was a law preventing such a thing.

Connecticut General Statutes > Title 26 > Chapter 490 > § 26-25c - Release of lighter-than-air balloons restricted. Penalty
(a) No person, nonprofit organization, firm or corporation, including the state and its political subdivisions, shall knowingly release, organize the release of or intentionally cause to be released into the atmosphere within a twenty-four-hour period ten or more helium or other lighter-than-air gas balloons in the state.

Although I was sabotaging my boss' wishes, I came out the hero that day. After I shared the law with her, she was extremely thankful that I helped them avoid a snafu. She had already contacted the media, so the headlines would have read something like "Government employees break law, hurt environment." Not quite the press she was hoping for.

Okay, now someone tell me how to effectively reflect this experience on my resume.