Labor Day BBQ

Whoa!

I'm intoxicated and just got back from Wes's bomb barbeque. He made swell shish kabobs, and the people, half friends, half strangers, were great, too.

Except for one crazy dude. He tried to tell me that "even crackheads are good at something" before going into detail about witnessing some guy he knew getting beheaded. So I was all, "What is that song on the I-Pod?", excused myself, and avoided him as best I could all night.

It was the first night I had an actual conversation with Katie. And then I ruined it when she asked me if I had any corn. I responded, "No, I haven't yet, but I definitely will. I love corn... as my poop could tell you." Like, I barely know the girl, and I mentioned my corn-filled bowel movements. Fortunately, she found it hysterical, which means we'll be cool, but I don't think I'll incorporate it into my pick-up line arsenal.

Katie asked where I was from, and I said Connecticut, and she said one of her other friends from Connecticut would be coming to the party late because she was currently at a pie eating contest and that she would be bringing the left-over pies for us all to eat. I found this gross because I immediately envisioned the half-eaten pies that people had mashed their faces in before stopping to vomit, but Katie corrected that they would probably be the extra pies that people hadn't had a chance to touch.

So this girl arrived late with pies and then cut herself a slice. I introduced myself and said, "Wow, you're gonna have a piece of pie after the contest?"
"Yeah, I'm hungry," she said.
"Really?! Did you win?" I asked.
"No, I didn't win," she lamented. Soon after I saw her get a second piece.
"I'm impressed, another piece?" I asked.
"Yeah..." she said.
"How much pie have you eaten today?" I asked.
"This is just my second piece," she said defensively.
"No, but in the contest?" I asked again.
"I didn't get to eat the pie, only the judges," she said.

Only after that did we clear up that she had participated in a pie-MAKING contest, not a pie-EATING contest! Katie had passed along bad information, and now I made this stranger feel self-concious and obese as I harassed her over the amount of pie she ate.

We laughed about it afterwards and made nice, but like DAMN I sure know how to embarrass myself.