No Means No

Hey,

If the last time I saw you was several years ago when you were sleeping on my couch and I woke you up by throwing a traffic cone at your head and continued to scream until you left my house because I was livid you had just raped my black-out drunk friend and ruined my life in a separate but also awful way, odds are I am not currently interested in adding you to my professional network on LinkedIn.

But thanks for the invitation.

ARGGGGHHH!