I was. Well sort of. I'm not often a, "Go, sports!" kind of guy, but I'm out of town with relatives for a few days, so anything seems exciting at the moment. When my cousins invited me to watch some football at another house, I decided I was in. Sure, it sounded kind of boring, but LESS boring than watching my grandfather pass out in his armchair from his new medication all day, so yay football!
It wasn't just any football viewing experience either. There were three large TVs set up in a row, each one showing a different game. While I had difficulty focusing on even one game, some of my relatives had enough practice to keep track of everything simultaneously. This is why fantasy football is diabolically genius. It convinces people that they not only need to be invested in their favorite team's games, but EVERY team's games. For the sake of winning an imaginary game and bragging rights, every single point and play in all of the NFL suddenly matters. And let's be honest - it doesn't matter at all, it's just large scale capitalism guised as entertainment.
Because I always have to be difficult, I was in the corner "cheering" for the Cowboys, and the hosts made a big point of saying no one in their house cheers for the Cowboys. I get it, North-Easterners have no incentive to root for Texas teams. But my roommate is originally from Dallas, and by proximity, I've been following their season - more than any team anyway - so it just seemed appropriate to give them my meaningless support. I clapped as the Cowboys overcame a two touchdown deficit and brought the game to overtime… only to lose then.
As I was departing and they made fun of "my" (ha) Cowboys again, I said, "Hey, they're called 'America's Team', so what kind of Americans are you? You may be rooting for the Patriots, but you certainly aren't patriots." At least that got a good laugh.
Okay, goodbye for now football, I'm sure we'll meet again when someone invites me to a Super Bowl party and I have to drink a lot just to laugh off the intense commercialism.