5 Offensive Christmas Songs You Should Stop Singing

I was really excited about this article I wrote because it gave me a chance to muse on some Christmas songs I think have some funky lyrics. I utilized a lot of outraged hyperbole, in part to poke fun at liberals - myself included - who can be overly politically correct at times. 

But you guys, the internet hates me now. There are over 100 comments saying some pretty mean things about me. Like, they HATE me for this article. Basically, they're accusing me of being too PC and an idiot who took all the fun out of the songs. They're taking it at face value. So in one sense, I was successful in my satire, but then maybe I was TOO successful because very few people are reading the humor into it. Heaven forbid you gave them a copy of "A Modest Proposal". 

I mean, in actuality, I only sort of have problems with "Baby It's Cold Outside" (if not outright date rapey, it's definitely creepy) and "Do They Know It's Christmas" (which I've ranted about before.) The other three I was just being obnoxious about - I mean who REALLY would be SUPER UPSET at "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus?"? 

But forget Christmas music, I need a straight up Emo soundtrack for my life right now. I FEEL SO MISUNDERSTOOD. 


KirstB said...

You know, I think there is something more to this then people not getting a joke. I took a quick glance at some of the other articles you wrote on that site, and the christmas songs by far seems to have gotten the most comments.

Perhaps I'm naive about the interwebs/social media, but if a stranger writes about something that they find offensive, and I don't agree with that sentiment, who gives a fuck. Even if what he or she said rubs me the wrong way, why would I bother commenting? It's just a blog, right?

Yeah, sometimes PC culture is crying out for some humor to be injected into it. Really though, I think it's revealing that people are taking to their keyboards in a hurry whenever someone expresses their opinion and tries to just start the conversation on why some things are ok.

Watched a similar thing unfold on another blog, but well, not satire in this case, where the author critiqued Victorias Secret for dressing a model as an "indian": http://nativeappropriations.blogspot.com/

Maybe I'm being naive about the psychology of internet users, oh wise blogger Kevin, do you have insight into what motivates the cranky ones behind their glowing screens?

Kevin said...

Oh wise commenter, I think you make good points and are on to something.

I'd say that it's getting more comments because it's being shared and viewed and absurdly high amount of times, but I'm sure that's only part of that.

People see something that tells them to be offended, skim it, and then loudly declare that they are not offended. It's an easy topic to "feel informed on" so why not chime in? They're not even bothering to read each others' comments for the most part (not that I blame them when it crosses a certain #).

I'm also not going to say it's one of the better things I've ever written, so some criticism is fine. If I had a do over, I'd change a couple of things. However, ultimately, they get the point I was trying to make. They may not realize that I intentionally made it, but that's another story.

Dean said...

I am smiling because two of my nephews have the same thoughts about "Baby, It's Cold Outside" and "Do They Know It's Christmas." I have the same thoughts about "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause."

KirstB said...

Yeah, that makes sense that it's a lot easier to take a stance when it's about an *I* statement about their feelings, their conclusion that others' offense then is not valid (or that you're a christmas nazi) is just silly, but clearly logic is not what it's about..

Yeah, the design of comment forums on blogs is usually not very good. I really like the up/down vote system that some blogs have, well, when people actually use them. Or the way say on NY times you can view editor picks or reader favorites, limiting the repetitive comments one must wade through. When facebook made that whole announcement about changing the comment system to a vote system that seemed like a pretty sensible idea to me (though, facebook's sketchy, so I'm sure there was some other shady privacy shit in there..)

Dave H said...

I thought your post was awesome and very very funny. Admittedly I only found it because I was deliberately searching for offensive christmas songs so I could annoy my office's resident liberal but that's beside the point.

I enjoyed the comedy and the satire but I think your only mistake was underestimating how stupid and petty our civilisation can be as a collective. People will be individually amused or enlightened by your post but it will be the minority of people who are enraged who will be the only ones moved to post their vitriol. This is generally because it's only that kind of short-sighted person who will feel that their opinion really matters.

Kevin, the only advice I can give to you is "don't be upset or angered by it - they are just words on a screen posted by people who didn't get the joke and don't know you or who you are". Don't give the idiots the attention they so crave.

Anyway, from one anonymous text file to another, merry christmas and try not to get run over by a reindeer.