Downtown Abby

If I were to become a drag queen, I would name myself Downtown Abby. My character would be this woman who considers herself classy, but in reality is just tragically ghetto. And I'd have a British accent that would sound as phony as my tits would look. 

Alas, this is just a case of me having a really good drag name with no intention of following through, much in the same way non-musicians dream up the perfect band names. To be a drag queen, I'd have to shave on a regular basis - what a chore. I can barely be bothered to put on a t-shirt each day, so there's no way I'd want to put on costumes and makeup. And if I don't tuck in my sheets to make my bed, how can you expect me to start tucking my penis? 

So if any aspiring drag queens do want to steal the Downtown Abby character idea, please go ahead, it'll go to waste with me. You can have it for free, even, as long as you promise to tell Sharon Needles that I love her.

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