I heard the new One Direction song, "Live While We're Young" in the car tonight, and I enjoyed it so much I couldn't help but clap at the end.
It's not a good song, just predictable pop shit, but I got a kick out of how sexy the lyrics are. And by "sexy" I mean that the song is about sex. Not maybe about sex, definitely about sex.
The chorus: "Let's go crazy crazy crazy 'til we see the sun/I know we only met but let's pretend it's love/And never never never stop for anyone/Tonight let's get some and live while we're young."
And my favorite verse: "Hey girl it's now or never, it's now or never/Don't over-think just let it go/And if we get together yeah get together/Don't let the pictures leave your phone." In other words, I'm never going to see you again, so we should probably just bang now. And promise me you won't share any photos - I have an image to upkeep.
It's precisely that image that makes this song so hilarious. One Direction's audience is primarily preteen girls, and they thrive with them because they've cultivated a pretty wholesome image. Releasing a single where they celebrate sleeping with young strangers kind of puts that in jeopardy.
One Direction, we already know, there's no need for you to sing about. You're cute, rich, and famous, so we assume you sleep around. But like Bieber before you, you've got to say you're virgins to appease the moms and young girls who buy your music even if everyone else outside of those demographics knows better.
If you want to throw some innuendo into your songs, fair game, but you also need some plausible deniability. I just can't wait for the parents to start hearing their 11-year-olds screaming the refrain "Tonight let's get some!" and banning their kids from listening to the songs that they previously assumed where chaste.
All the same, I think I have a growing adoration for this boy band, and not just because of this inappropriate sex song. Firstly, their best song is a blatant Backstreet Boys ripoff. Secondly, their hit song, "What Makes You Beautiful", doesn't make any sense. (If a girl doesn't know she's beautiful, and that's what makes her beautiful, then telling her she's beautiful would then make her ugly, right?) And thirdly, as Melinda has pointed out to me, they can't dance.
When is the last time you've seen a boy band without serious choreography? Maybe they're just pioneers like that, but you know their management must have brought in some of the best dance coaches in the world to work with these boys before deciding it was hopeless. So instead they just do a lot of walking and jumping in their videos and on-stage performances.
I mean, hey, as long as they're still getting laid, right?