State of the Hostage Situation

So tonight was fun. Watched the State of the Union while drinking a lot, as any good American should. We started sipping at every utterance of the word "future," which comes up a lot as it turns out when the president doesn't have much good to say about the present. Still, the "future" references seemed a little taunting to most of the people in attendance... is every politician old-as-fuck these days? It's as if Obama were speaking to a convalescent home; most of those people were closer to death than Gabrielle Giffords. Speaking of Giffords, if you thought Obama would wait a full five seconds before mentioning her name, clearly you're new to politics.

Following the speech, I went to a comedy show. The transition from one drunkenly hilarious spectacle to the next was nearly seamless. Well, that is until I became involved in a hostage situation at the show. The details aren't entirely clear, but elsewhere in the same building someone was holding someone else hostage at gunpoint, which led to a standoff with dozens of police officers. The audience was on lockdown and couldn't leave the room. I hadn't been planning on leaving the room anytime soon, but you'd be surprised at how claustrophobic you start to feel when a whole bunch of people with guns are restricting your movements.

Anyway, I made it home safely and the state of our union is strong... even if downtown Los Angeles has once again proven why it is uninhabitable. I had hoped to channel some positive thoughts to go to bed with, but I instead received a new blog comment on a post I wrote more than a year ago to celebrate (read: mock) Bryan Adams's 50th birthday. In addition to skewering several of his embarrassing songs, I had made an off-the-cuff remark about the film Prince of Thieves. Apparently "Anonymous" (if that is your real name!) took offense to this comment, saying: "Prince of Thieves was a great movie. If you disagree then I suggest you get your head examined, and also look into having a new (good) sense of taste transplanted into the sad thing you laughingly call your brain." It's true, I can't refer to my own brain without laughing. But who let Kevin Costner on the internet?