2011-01-14

A Sign Things Have Changed

"Hey, it's Kevin. Whoa, whoa, whoa, before you hang up, hear me out. I know you dumped me because we weren't compatible, but things have changed... I'm a Taurus, now, baby!"

And... scene! The only reason I might actually give half a hoot about this astrological sign change controversy is because it proves how inconsequential it is. I pity the fool who now is torn up over which horoscope to read. If you want to waste your time on the most irrelevant part of the newspaper, read Family Circus.

Fortunately, my sign hasn't changed. The correct answer to "What's your sign?" has and always will be "Shut the fuck up."

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have a book that tells you what personality traits people have based on their birthday. It's surprisingly accurate and precise. If you tell me what day your birthday is, I'll tell you what it says and you can judge for yourself whether there's any validity to horoscopes. Btw I agree that newspaper horoscopes are complete shit.

Kevin said...

My birthday is June 12th, anonymous. What does it say about me?

Amber said...

that book must have been flawed....

Kevin said...

To be fair, Anonymous not-so-anonymously emailed me with a scan of the pages applying to my birthday under the condition that I didn't rip into her on my blog.

While I didn't find the birthday part all that applicable to me, there was a part about your magic number (mine is three, evidently) that corresponded pretty well, I thought!