How to Succeed without Even Trying

As I explained to a coworker recently, you can't plan Vegas trips, they just kind of happen. If you put too much thought into it, you're missing out on the crucial spontaneous aspect. Michael Michael and I had been kicking around going for a while yesterday but made no move for four hours to actually do it. In actuality, I was waiting for an excuse not to do it. Then we got a call from Sisco saying that he and Chico were going to Vegas for Chico's birthday. Could we be ready in five minutes? Sure. In less than five minutes, we were in the car and it felt great.

The night started out okay: I played craps and walked away when I was a rousing $4 up. Take that, Vegas!

Because there was a major rodeo convention in Vegas this weekend, there were a disproportionate amount of gamblers wearing large cowboy hats. Though they're lassoing ways were somewhat amusing, their hat-wear was not as impressive as another variety I spied. My favorite sight of the weekend was a row of five consecutive old women all wearing Santa hats while aggressively playing the slots. That's holiday spirit for you.

On second thought, my favorite sight was actually when I was at a urinal and the men to my right, were having a conversation in French with thick French accents. A drunk guy in a cowboy hat started shouting in their ears, "Fuck England!" When the French people barely acknowledged the scream, he repeated it several more times. "Fuck England! FUCK ENGLAND! GO HOME!" The Frenchmen didn't seem to take it personally, since either they knew better than to engage with the idiot or they didn't speak English. Perhaps, though, they simply aren't British, so they took no offense in the first place. I do enjoy that the cowboy heard accents and assumed they were British, however. They speak a different language in England, you know.

I joined Chico at a losing blackjack table and slowly whittled my money away. My compatriots did the same elsewhere, except for Sisco, who put $2 in a slot machine and wound up with $25. He was content with that and went home -- we could all stand to learn that lesson.

Finally, I remembered a lesson learned on a previous trip to Vegas, which is to make sure I'm having a good time so that even if I lose the money, it negates the situation. I encountered a kindly man from India who I had met earlier and joined him at a blackjack table with an attractive British couple -- these folks were actually from England, no less. They all acted jovially even when losing and encouraged me to get back in the game and have some fun. As we played, we chatted merrily; good conversations are even better with accents. Everyone had a wicked sense of humor, to boot. Each time she lost a hand, the beautiful blonde British babe would smile and crack a joke about all she wanted was to have enough money to afford a pizza later. "Please, sir, I'm hungry and need some pizza. You're taking my pizza money!" All right, it wasn't the sophisticated British humor you often hear about, but it was hilarious in the moment. Perhaps it was the delivery, coming from her perfectly imperfect British teeth -- go stereotypes!

I had put down $25 and didn't even notice that my money had quadrupled until Sisco dropped by and clapped for my progress. The money was so secondary at that point. I suppose that would be a dangerous situation were I losing, but when you're winning hand after hand in a row, it's not so bad. In the spirit of the table's camaraderie, I even smoked a cigarette offered by the Brits; we all won the subsequent round.

At 4 AM, we hopped back in our car, and made it home by 7. There's nothing like going to bed later than the time you have to be at work the following day. Tomorrow, when one of the few nice students asks me what I did over the weekend, I will simply respond, "Nothing."