2007-12-10

It's the Least Wonderful Time of the Year

I know this revelation contradicts a previous assertion, but the only things I dislike more about Christmas than commercialism are Christmas carols. I must clarify that while I enjoy singing them, I hate hearing them. On the radio, in the stores, on the television: Christmas carols are everywhere, invading my life. While I can handle it at Margarita Mondays in all its cheesy glory, it becomes a bit too much.

Admittedly, I'm fairly fascinated by the perseverance of seasonal songs. Most songs grow old and fade into obscurity within half a year. Once a song is labeled a Christmas hit, however, it resurfaces every December for a month of madness. Songs like John Lennon's "War Is Over," Jose Feliciano's "Feliz Navidad," Beach Boy's "Little Saint Nick," Wham's "Last Christmas," and Band Aid's "Do They Know It's Christmas?" will never die. The fact that they have a holiday association gives them a free pass to pop annually from now until eternity. The truth of the matter is that they're still just shitty pop songs, just without an expiration date. It's crucial for bad pop tunes to slip into obscurity, but we keep digging up the Christmas-themed songs' graves. If I wanted to be certain to have my music immortalized, I'd be sure to record a Christmas single, knowing it'd have the potential to be played for years to come.

I pondered this phenomenon as I caught the tail end of "All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey on my drive in to work last week. What about this song makes it worthy of being put in heavy rotation year after year, I wondered. If anything, the song is ridiculous; people play it because it's tradition, not because it's good. As if on cue, Ryan Seacrest came on the radio (shut up!) babbling about how much he loves that song. He then reads snippets from a newspaper article by a Jewish woman who loves the song in spite of its Christmas allusions. The writer claims to listen to it year-round and plans to play it at her wedding next spring. As Ryan shares this story, he is so touched that, get this, he begins to cry. He then puts on four callers in a row who sing the praises of the Mariah Carey song and how it is the best song of all time.

Am I missing something? Sure, it's catchy and all, but if any holiday song is going to be played at my non-seasonal wedding, it'll be Heidi Klum:



(yes, I found an excuse to post my favorite holiday song again)

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