Oops, I've been gone for a long time. I apologize, but I've been busy with schools. Yes, that's right: schools. I'm both a full time teacher and a full time graduate student, and as both those things intensify at the end of the semester, I've had a lot to get done. I've been working on all sorts of scholarly papers (of course, they're all scholarly when the topic is school), and now I'm finally done with school for nearly a month. Well, graduate school: I still have to teach for another week and a half, which totally sucks. I mean, it's very rewarding. Yeah.
Anyway, enough about me. I realize that's a funny thing to say in a personal blog where all I do is babble about myself, but that last paragraph was boring and not the type of material I usually post; who cares about the concrete details of my life - bring on the funny! I have a few stories lined up to share with you, and while debating which of them to kick off my big "I've been gone for a week" posting, hilarity happened repeatedly in my house, so I think I'd rather just share that instead.
First, Jessica was singing what sounded to be gibberish and we all were ignoring her, so she got upset and shouted/pouted, "I can sing 'Silent Night' in German and nobody cares." As I type this story, I realize her superb delivery cannot be captured in words, but the sheer truth really drove the humor home. We were ignoring her; she was singing "Silent Night" in German. I still don't care, but I care that she cares that we don't care.
Next, someone sent me a link to pterodactyl porn. I'll leave that person nameless in case they don't want their name attached to that video. Oh, by the way, make no bones (pun! Would a "fossil" be a good term for a dinosaur erection?) about it, if you click on that link, you will see some graphic material that you wish you did not. For the record, I didn't know what I was clicking on until it was too late. I immediately paused the clip - not just because I was in horror, but because I wanted to share the first time I watched pterodactyl porn with my friends. A few housemates and I watched in confusion, with one of my housemates claiming it was eir first time seeing porn of any type (Not me.) As the person who sent me this link noted, "What a way to start." In the beginning, there were dinosaurs. And they fucked hot bitches. And God said it was good. At any rate, again, I wouldn't recommend clicking the link, but I'm sure curiosity might get the best of you, in which case - whoa. I have three comments to share on the topic: 1) Who would have known that someone would fetishize dinosaurs? 2) I feel sorry for the fact that those men dressed as pterodactyls are having to endlessly flap their arms as wings and are clearly tiring; then again, I suppose they are receiving oral sex, so life can't be all bad (though perhaps utterly humiliating.) 3) My favorite part (no, I can't believe I have a favorite part in pterodactyl porn either) of the clip is halfway through when what appears to be a puppet emerges from the left side of the screen. It is awesomely hilarious that someone is manning a pterodactyl puppet off to the side, as if its presence somehow enhances the quality of the film. And I thought it couldn't get any more bizarre after the first ten seconds.
Shoot, kids, it's late. (I say kids in the generic way I call everybody kids: I seriously hope actual kids are not reading this and discovering pterodactyl porn.) Yeah, so I have to get up and teach school in six hours; for whatever reason, they refuse to pay me for just sitting here, watching trashy jurassic porn, and blogging. But I promise to finish the many wonderful things from tonight in future installments. I also promise that we move away from the subject of pterodactyl porn entirely - or porn of any sort for that matter.
For some reason, I keep thinking that the best way to end this post is with that Mr. Rogers's song. Perhaps that's blasphemous after sharing the content that I did, but what the hell, I bet some crazy kinky things went on in the Land of Make Believe. After all, there were plenty of puppets.
So yeah, I'll be back with more, better, less perverted content tomorrow.
I'll be back when the day is new
And I'll have more ideas for you
And you'll have things you want to talk about
I will too
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