The Poop Scoop

Many people don't understand the extent to which poop jokes ruled my childhood. No punch line, no matter how intelligent, was able to trump a simple utterance of "poop" on the laugh-o-meter. I tend to take it as a compliment that people give me credit for a sense of humor that is wittier than remarks about eating poop, but I swear, prior to college, that is about all I knew - or cared to know for that matter.

Having been back home in Connecticut for just a few hours now, I hope to illustrate how prevalent poop is to my life:

1) Immediately, there were jokes about the homemade Christmas gifts we've created after several grueling minutes of sitting on the toilet.

2) (Hehe, two. Get it?) Alison calls a friend on the phone. Without even saying hello first, she says, "Wanna come over? I took a dump in my pants for you."

3) When discussing another family, my sibling mentions how much she likes them. "They're really funny," she insists. "At Thanksgiving, they told stories about poop the whole time!"

By the end of the week, I bet I'll have hundreds more. TWO hundred more!