A Romantics Major with a Concentration in Writing

It is common practice for teachers to show off their students' most interesting pieces of writing. At a conference, a fellow teacher was grading eir students' historical narrative fiction pieces. The assignment required the students to research a time period and place, and demonstrate that knowledge in a fictional story. Unless you're a teacher, you wouldn't believe the ridiculous things that students will put to paper.

The best story was a romance set at a German concentration camp. A Nazi fell in love with his Jewish hostage and decided to escape with her. He dug them a hole, only to discover it wasn't long enough for them to reach freedom, so, inspired by her love, he dug an additional three miles in the span of forty five minutes. I suppose having to deal with all of those ashes left him handy with a shovel. The story inexplicably ends happily ever after, even though the WWII raged on, they were only four miles from where the concentration camp was located, and the young Jewish woman never expressed any kind of reciprocal feelings for her captor.

No matter how implausible the story became, it could not top what might be the best opening line in fiction since this one. The story began, "In Auschwitz, it was gory this time of year."

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