Call Me Asshat

I remember using the term "asshat" a bit back in 2001-2003, but the word had a short shelf life. In most cases, "douche" seems sufficient.

It reentered my life, however, when my former dodgeball team (the "patriotic" one) decided to rep even harder for our country by getting from a Top Gun Call Sign Generator. My teammates got cool nicknames: Catbird, Tank, Bruiser, Jams, Boomer, etc. Then I typed in my name:

Asshat. Bleeping Asshat! What kind of Top Gun name is Asshat?

Of course, my teammates thought this was hilarious, and chanted "Asshat! Asshat!" at the beginning of our game that night. As luck would have it, I had one of my best nights of dodgeball ever that. I was throwing, dodging, and especially catching far better than I normally play and even won us the game a couple of times. That gave people plenty of opportunity to cheer my new nickname As a teammate pointed out, if I had just an average night, the name probably would have been soon forgotten, but since everyone got so much practice cheering "Asshat!" that it was bound to stick.

And stick it has. Over a year later, people still call me that. It's gotten to the point where I don't actually cringe each time it's uttered, I actually find it mildly affectionate.

Yes, I am Asshat. Actually, that's Lieutenant Asshat to you!

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