Team Amiricah: World Police

Another dodgeball season has come to an end. Team Amiricah: World Police has been one of my favorite teams to play on, actually.

Named after our lovely captain Amirah (Captain Amiricah, as we call her), Team Amiricah was a theme I was initially apprehensive about because I wasn’t sure whether everyone would “get” the concept. I mean, it only works if we’re mocking patriotism rather than celebrating it, and fortunately, everyone was in sync. Here’s what we decided America means to us: guns, beer helmets, small pox blankets, sitting down, Neil Diamond, ATVs, and never having to admit you’re wrong.

Yeah, sometimes we got cocky on the court, but I’d argue it was thematic. Besides, who doesn’t like a good, incessant “USA! USA! USA!” chant? Getting to call our opponents terrorists was an extra perk.

My favorite part was picking out ridiculous red, white, and blue attire to wear. The thrift stores were ripe with unintentionally hilarious USA garb, almost none of which were in a reasonable size. As Preston pointed out, it’s hard to find patriotic shirts in any size smaller than an X-Large, which is a pretty good commentary on America in itself. Regardless, I’m a big fan of the flag shirt that Preston did manage to find that read: “Try Burning This One… Asshole!!”

In the tournament on Wednesday, we gave it our all, playing so hard that you’d think we knew that the Supreme Court would uphold our health care the next morning. And yeah, maybe some would say we lost anyway, but whatever. A couple of us started declaring “Mission Accomplished!” anyway – if I know one thing about being an American, it’s that you don’t need to actually win the war to declare yourself the victor. Amiricahns can rewrite history all they want, and so with that, I would like to announce:


Fuck yeah!

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