So YouTube has this "Automatic Closed Caption" option that will attempt to transcribe some videos' audio, but it is AWFUL. Truly awful. However, what it lacks in accuracy, it makes up for in hilarity. Even a dumb YouTube video becomes an amusing one with this feature on.
I decided to experiment with something dry, dialogue-driven, and cliche-filled: student council speeches. And I'll be damned if I didn't watch nine minutes of teenagers saying nothing and laughing the whole time.
Go ahead. Play the video, and make sure to click the CC button in the menu and choose the "English (automatic captions)" option. You really need to see them in succession, but some of my favorite snippets include:
I heard Attorney Steve Obvious beat Bob Loblaw in court!