Abbreviating Tampons

In this busy world, there's no time to say complete words anymore. Therefore, words we use the most in conversation - chiefly "tampons" - need to be abbreviated.

A couple of months ago, a small committee of friends set out to determine the best way to shorten "tampons". (And by shorten, I mean the word, not the product… you still need to be able to fish it out.) We even included some females in this committee because it seemed pretty progressive (if not farfetched) to give ladies a partial say in a matter related to women's health.

It came down to two popular abbreviations: tamps and 'pons. (There was also a friendly amendment for "tampies," but I don't know. Sounds a little too cute for a post-pubescent contraption.)

A vote resulted in a deadlock tie: half for tamps and half for 'pons. I'm personally not in the tamp camp. While I agree people would more readily recognize the word ("Excuse me, I have to go put a tamp in"), it just seems too harsh sounding. 'Pons on the other hand has a cool apostrophe and that magical ring of a feminine hygiene product.

I thought the strongest case was made when someone pointed out that "tamp" was already a verb: "to drive in or down by a succession of light or medium blows". So why not make 'pon the abbreviation and tamp the action verb? Then you can TAMP a 'PON and the complete word suddenly makes a whole lot sense. Besides, we basically need a verb. Any conversation about a 'pon that doesn't include a graphic description of the insertion is pretty much a waste.

But help us settle our debate: tamps or 'pons?

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