Person of the Year

Raise your hand if you've been named Time's Person of the Year twice in the past decade.

As a blogger and Occupier, I'm flattered by the repeat recognition. While it's not easy to bear the burden of being your Person of the Year, I assure you that I take the honor seriously. I promise to be a better Person than any damn corporation anyway.

Next year, it is my intention to win this distinction yet again, only this time as an individual. It is time for the publication to realize that I'm pretty awesome in my own right. I'm willing to share the accolades for now, but everyone's going to take notice of Kevin when I singlehandedly save the world in 2012. I can't tell you how because it's a secret plan, but when the apocalypse doesn't happen next year, the masses will be shouting, "Thank you for saving our lives, Kevin, Person of the Year!"

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Two wins is quite the achievement in itself. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a resume to update.

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