Blimp

Over large bowls of Vietnamese soup, I confessed to my companions that I had been weepy lately, having teared up during movies on two consecutive days. I conceded that the films, Schindler's List and Darfur Now, are both about genocide, so if ever a subject matter to cry over, I reckon that would be it. Jessica took the opportunity to challenge my masculinity, prompting me to sob like the baby that I am.

Amy brought up a film about Irish terrorists, but none of us were sure whether or not ey was inventing the plot, so Paul countered by describing a film ey was "making up on the spot" that sounded suspiciously like Titanic. The rest of us kept suggesting constructive feedback to improve this film starring Leonardo DiCaprio about a historical disaster featuring a romance, bare breasts, and a Celine Dion power ballad. Then, inspiration struck. What if instead of making it about a famous boating disaster, this film took place on the Hindenburg? It would be the same movie as Titanic with the same characters, dialogue, music, and plot, but with a few necessary modifications to permit the film to take place on a blimp. It is sure to be a blockbuster, I surmised, because the Hindenburg is the greatest human disaster of all time.

Taking issue with my lofty claim, Jessica alluded to the issue of genocide which was discussed moments earlier, but naturally I pshaw-ed eir. Sure, genocide is horrible or something, but the fallout of the Hindenburg has been a true devastation. Had this accident not occurred and terrified our species, blimps would be commonplace and an environmentally-friendly transportation solution. Ever the contrarian, Jessica countered that blimps aren't actually too energy-efficient, so I admitted what was really being lost: fun. That's right, fun. Blimps are fun, but now that everyone is scared of them, no one is willing to partake in the fun. That, my friends, is a real tragedy.

The fact that we don't yet all live on peaceful blimp communities in the sky and instead blimps are relegated to advertising tires is a concrete example of how corporations are keeping the little people down in an attempt to profit and maintain supreme control. Don't allow them to use an isolated incident of blimp destruction to discourage us from progressing and having fun.