Do You Have a Boil?

My student who threatened to cut my throat is still in my class. It's funny how laws work: she'd probably have to succeed at killing me before switching classes. She knew enough to be a bit better behaved upon her return to my class after the suspension, but quickly let her true poise shine through again. Every other word out of her mouth is "fuck" and she loves announcing to the class how promiscuous she is. It's really hard to even pretend to respect this student when she is so openly nasty. Therefore, I simply ignore her as much as possible as she spends the entirety of class applying layers of makeup to her face and taking photos of her cleavage with her cellphone. On Monday, this prized student asks me about a former student of mine before class starts.

"You know Harry*?"
"Yeah, I know Harry." Harry's gross, too, by the way. He's the only guy who has the audacity to have made out with two girls in my class on the same day. It's confounding to me why he can attract anyone, truthfully; sure he's "smooth," but he's also all sorts of dumb -- more on that later.
"Should I get with him?"
"Oh gosh, don't ask me a question like that."
"No, I need your help to make a decision!"
"It's none of my business."
"Look, he wrote me a note."

I should continue not caring by not looking, but I do. The note read:
"Do you have a boil? Becuz I could make sweet luv 2 u. - Harry"

I laugh aloud. "A boil?" I ask. The student isn't familiar with what a boil is, so I explain.
"A boy!" she says. "b-o-i-i." On second inspection, indeed, the "L" in boil could be a poorly constructed "i." It' s funny how kids use these ridiculous abbreviations just for the sake of doing so. Boii has more letters than boy, so there's definitely no shorthand going on there.
"Okay," I respond, shaking it off.
"So should I do it?" she pesters again.
"Why are you asking me?"
"Because you have him in your other class."
"He used to be in my class," I correct. You see, Harry was moved to special education. (Don't laugh... well, too much anyway.)
"I think I'm gonna do it," she decides.

Of course.

Forget the boils, Harry. Beware the crabs.