A Change in Change

I went to the post office yesterday to buy a book of stamps: it was the most boring read I've endured in a long time. Since the book cost far less than the twenty dollars I deposited into the machine, I pushed the button to receive change. Instantaneously, a clamor of clinks and clanks sang a sweet song to me, reminiscent of a slot machine victory. At first I smiled at what I hoped was a technology-error windfall, then watched my face in the machine's reflection turn sour as it occurred to me that it might be giving me my $12 in quarters. I bent down and scooped up about a dozen of these coins:


Staring at the unfamiliar object, I questioned whether these were tokens rather than legitimate currency. Is the government really trying to push us on the dollar coin again? Hasn't the Sacagawea movement proved fairly unsuccessful? I suppose there's something to be said of the fact that people might think it's real money now that it has white men on it.

Cramming these coins into the change portion of my wallet was a hassle: the thing could barely velcro shut anymore. When I put the wallet in my pocket, it looked like I had a tumor growing from my hip.

Today, I went to the 99 Cent store for parade supplies. Taking out my wallet, I realized this opportunity was perfect to unload this money that was so burdensome, I'd almost prefer to be in debt. I paid with exact change, as I always try to do, but for the first time ever, only with change. I suspect these coins are meant to stimulate the economy. It certainly didn't feel like I was spending much money after only dipping into my change pocket. This mentality could become dangerous.

As I picked up my bags, the person behind me purchased a can of soda. Ey handed eir money of the paper variety, but declined the coins owed back to em, insisting that the cashier "keep the change." I find this "kind gesture" ridiculous since it's not like the cashier gets to keep that money, it just adds to the corporation's profits.

While I head toward my car, the soda buyer approaches me. "Brother, do you have any extra change? Brother? I just need some change. Brother!" I refuse to acknowledge him, though. I'm sorry, but what kind of person acts like ey's too good to take change back when it's owed to em, then, less than a minute later, begs for money? It's ridiculous logic and likely indicative of why ey's hard up for cash in the first place. Irritated, however, I chose to keep my two cents to myself, both literally and figuratively.