2013-07-22

Pee-p Show

The bar we hung out at this weekend has a major structural flaw: from a certain angle, you can see right into the men's room. Since it's not a single occupancy rest room, each time another guy enters, it affords an unobstructed view of a urinal.

How do I know this? I found myself sitting in just the right spot. Even though my focus remained on the band playing in the front, I still got plenty of incidental glances at the urinal 10-15 feet behind them in the background. It wouldn't be a big deal except that often times you could see dudes mid-piss, oblivious to the fact that there were spectators.

When more of my friends arrived, I ended up scooting my chair closer to the end of the table to make room. While the polite thing to do would have been not to draw attention to the fact that people were unwittingly urinating more or less publicly, I didn't do that. I don't know, it seemed like a waste of a view. So instead I announced, "Yo, you ladies can see a lot of dick tonight if you want!"

Naturally, that warranted an explanation, but once they understood the situation, they were pretty into it. They informed our whole party each time they spied a bro's penis in the distance.

It seemed funny until, as happens when you drink a bunch of beer, I had to pee. I had to pee so badly that it trumped the my self-consciousness about doing it in front of my friends. I entered, and was disappointed to find that the urinal - the magical, visible urinal - was the only toilet available. I hope that if I just peed at more of a sideways angle rather than straight on, my friends wouldn't be able to see my dick.

No dice, though. "We could see you peeing!" they shouted when I returned to my seat. I guess that's what you call karma? Look, ladies, some of us are just trying to tinkle, not put on a show. Have some respect!

P.S. Oddly, this is the second time I've unintentionally found myself in the bar seat with a view of cock.

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