Thank You, Terror

I got to say the blessing at our early Thanksgiving feast this year. Around a dozen of our friends held hands around the table as I closed my eyes and begin sharing what I was thankful for:

“Thank you, India.
Thank you, terror.
Thank you, disillusionment.
Thank you, frailty.
Thank you, consequence.
Thank you, thank you, silence.

How ‘bout no longer being masochistic?
How ‘bout me enjoying the moment for once?
How ‘bout how good it feels to finally forgive you?
How ‘bout not equating death with stopping? 

Thank you, India.
Thank you, terror.
Thank you, disillusionment.
Thank you, frailty.
Thank you, nothingness.
Thank you, thank you, silence, eee-yeah-aaaa-yeahhhh.”

As many of my friends realized at some point, I was essentially just doing spoken word (partially misremembered) Alanis Morissette lyrics to the song “Thank U.” I kept my eyes closed the entire time so I wouldn’t be tempted to laugh, and it’s a good thing because Dan was not familiar with the tune and was frantically making eye contact with everyone thinking I had gone off the deep end and was calling for some kind of revolution. “You thanked the terrorists!” he said afterwards. But it was terror, not terrorists, and for the record, that song was recorded a few years before 9/11.

Anyway, if you want to trip out your family this Thanksgiving, I recommend reciting Alanis’s prayer. It’s hardly sacrilegious considering that she played God in the film Dogma, so it’s kind of like sharing words from God’s own lips. Plus, she bares it all in the video, which I think is the best way to express gratitude.