Everything You Did Today

For a crowded train, the car I'm on is relatively quiet outside of this semi-PDA couple (no kissing, but a lot of unnecessary stroking of body parts) sitting near me. She asks him to tell him "everything" about his day, and he takes that question to heart, blathering about any and every mundane detail of his life. When he finally finishes, he asks her "what did you do today?" "Everything I did? Okay…" she says. I find it funny that she adds the "everything" part when he didn't say that, but I soon find out why. If I thought he was sparing no detail, she really put that notion to the test when she listed everything short of "I took a breath". Here's her monologue:

"My alarm goes off. I press snooze. It goes off again. I get out of bed. I get dressed. I brush my teeth. I make coffee. I watch some videos on YouTube. I read pretty much all of ESPN.com. Sara calls. I drive to Sara's house. I stop for gas. I get to Sara's house. I walk through Sara's door. We sit on her couch. Then we go to [some restaurant I don't remember]. I want breakfast, but it's past when they serve it. I ask them for breakfast anyway. They say they only have breakfast burritos left. I say "perfection". I pay for the breakfast burrito. I eat the burrito…"

"Oh, I forgot to mention I had a burrito today, too," he interjects. "That was part of my lunch, though, not breakfast. Sorry, I interrupted. You were eating your breakfast burrito…"

As she continues her list that brings dull to a whole new level, I actually get up and move to another part of the train. For crying aloud, it had been a few minutes and she hadn't even got past breakfast! I'll put up with a lot, but I have little patience for someone who thinks "I get out of bed" "I stop for gas" and "I walk through Sara's door" are sentences that need to be mentioned! 

If they enjoy each other's company, though, more power to them. May their relationship last as long as their pointless stories. 

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