Offensive!

If you think I'm offensive, you should meet my friends!

In the span of just a couple hours, here are the top two offensive things that people said:

2. Singer in a wheelchair
For context, I'm at the lesbian karaoke bar and ordering a drink at the bar. Unbeknownst to me, there's a man in a wheelchair trying to maneuver behind me, but can't find the space between the people at the bar and the table next to it. The person sitting nearby at the bar freaks out at me. "MOVE MOVE MOVE!" I turn and notice the person in the wheelchair and immediately press myself against the bar to make room. While the man trying to get by thanks me, the person who yelled at me at the bar says an aggressive, "God!" at me like I was being rude all along. I got defensive because I wasn't trying to be rude or anything and explained as much: "I didn't even see him! No one even 'Excuse me.'" "STILL!" the fellow patron sputtered at me exasperated. At this point it became clear that I was dealing with someone who was overcompensating for the fact that this man was disabled. He felt the need to irrationally defend a handicapped person, as if I should be expected to sense someone that I've incidentally had my back to the whole time. I'm sure he wouldn't have said a word if someone who could walk was having trouble getting past me.

Anyway, the man in the wheelchair turned out to be an amazing singer with a Frank Sinatra-like voice. The next day, i offered up a silly theory: what if he was told he could only keep one ability, his legs or his voice, and he chose his voice?

L's response: "That's just like Ariel [The Little Mermaid], but the opposite!"

As I type this part, I recognize that perhaps I made the offensive part by introducing the dilemma and L merely turned it around into a joke. Oops. Okay, but I swear the next one was not me and actually took me by such surprise that my jaw dropped; I almost wanted to laugh just to indulge my nervous side, but I couldn't do it.

1. Zoo kids

We're at the zoo and there are thousands of little kids running amuck, screaming, and crying.

L: "This makes me want to put off having a kid for as long as possible."
A: "Why, so it'll have Down Syndrome?"

It's based on statistics, granted, but still...