Set Down the Sippy Cup

As a wee lad, my big brotherly duties involved tying a wagon to the back of my bike and wheeling baby Alison around the yard. Over time, Alison grew large enough to handle the responsibility of riding a tricycle all by herself. On one of the first occasions Alison took to her trike, I responded by crying and screaming. Not because I lost the coveted role of chauffeur, but because Alison rolled around on her tricycle while holding a sippy cup. As I worriedly protested to my mother, Alison was in fact drinking and driving. After containing her laughter, my mother explained that drinking and driving didn't apply to milk.

In retrospect, most intriguing to me is the fact that five-year-old Kevin was so firmly indoctrinated by don't-drink-and-drive campaigns without having a real understanding of what it actually meant. That just goes to show how powerful PSAs can be. No wonder I'm addicted to meth.