Look at the Books

Another trip to a thrift store led to more great book finds.

Quit your peeping.

As someone who strives to be a woman of excellence, I finally found my literary companion.

I'm particularly fond of this page in the book that a fellow excellent woman worked through. She lists thirst as an obstacle in her relationship with God and laments her dependency on Diet Coke. Hey, Excellent Women are fallible, too.

This one probably shouldn't strike me as funny, unless of course it has scabies.

This book has a distinct niche market: crazies. Especially crazy cat ladies.

Strike the last book, this one is for the crazies. Since it's at a thrift store, it means that someone purchased it back in the day (let's hope it was before 2000 at any rate) and then finally realized it wasn't worth keeping on the bookshelf anymore.

It's a shame I found this gem so shortly after the Y2K party. If this book was to be believed, the world post-Y2K would be nothing short of bedlam. It's as if the worst would happen to the worst. Plus, the millennium spares no one! People in all areas of the world will be effected by the event, meaning that their will not be typical outreach from other areas of the country.

I haven't carefully examined the text, but the book does have numerous lists with invaluable tips. In no particular order, here are some of my favorite suggestions:

* Wear long polyester underwear.
* Move to the country.
* Start simplifying your lifestyle. Practice giving up certain appliances and establish a "no-TV challenge" as a fun exercise.
* Stock up on candles -- purchase six a day.
* Build a crystal radio.
* Stockpile medical supplies.
* Practice medical treatment with your kids.
* Learn to defend yourself in a way that is congruent with your personal philosophy. Could you use deadly force to defend yourself or your family?
* Consider the possibility and impact of martial law.
* Practice common sense if you need to travel--keep a low profile.
* Consider getting a gun and taking a gun class.
* Learn how to shoot your gun.
* Learn how to clean [your gun] and take care of it.
* Train your children in the use of the gun.
* Find out if your car is Y2K compliant.
* If you are married, talk through your plans with your mate. Make sure you are in agreement with the choices you've made.
* Have yourself tested to reveal your talents and skills.
* Get letters of recommendation updated.
* Decide how you would take care of solid waste.

My favorite list is a compilation of "20 Questions to Strike Up Conversations with your Kids." I guess if you're some freak who's going to buy this book and barricade your family in a basement, you might not know how to have normal conversations with your kids and need to rely on the following prompts:

* What is your favorite food?
* Tell me about the neatest birthday present you ever received.
* Describe the "ideal" father. [Issues!]
* What is something you can do pretty well?
* What is your best friend like?
* What kind of store would you like to own and operate?
* What is your favorite room in your house? Why?
* What kind of trophy would you like to win?

Imagine surviving the travesties of Y2K only to have to endure forced awkward discussions with your folk. The living would envy the dead.